Haircut Success!

Many posts ago, I mentioned that Ben has always been terrified of haircuts.  He is horribly scared of them, and due to his sensory issues, they overwhelm him.  Since he got his first haircut at about the age of two, we have struggled with this.  I let him go as long as possible in between cuts, but his hair is very straight and when it was long enough to hang in his eyes, I would call my sweet friend, Kim, who has an incredible amount of patience and serenity, and I would hold him down while she cut his hair and he screamed bloody murder. 

It was awful every single time.  She always assured me that, eventually, he would outgrow this and handle it better, but I was beginning to think she was wrong and that he was just going to have hair down to his toes if she ever quit cutting it for us.  We tried a social story, a wonderful book called "Bippity Bop Barbershop" by Natasha Anastasia Tarpley, and bribery.  NOTHING worked.

This morning, however, a small miracle occurred.  My dad and brother (Poppy and Uncle Nathan) have been talking up their barber and going to the barbershop with them like a big boy for a few weeks now.  The thought was to take him and let him watch them get their haircut and then see if he would get one.  I put the haircut on his picture schedule, packed "Bippity Bop Barbershop" and the Ipad for distraction, and they went on their way.

I was pretty sure it would be a big disaster but was hopeful at the same time, and GUESS WHAT?  Ben got a haircut!  He wore the cape, sat in the chair, held still, and let the barber even use clippers, which in itself is HUGE!  He did not scream and no one had to hold him down! 

I am so proud of him and relieved, I can't even explain it.  One of my biggest jobs is to help him navigate the world, which is very different from helping a kid who is not on the spectrum navigate the world.  Unless you have done it, you don't understand.  All those things other parents take for granted are issues for us.  That's just how it is.  When he has a success like this, though, there is light at the end of that tunnel.  There is hope that eventually he will be able to handle other things better too, and that he will grow up and be able to take care of himself. 

The doctors tell parents of children with Asperger's that we are the lucky ones because our children will "probably" grow up to go to college, get married, and have a job like everybody else but will just need extra help along the way.  Sometimes, it's impossible to see that.  When your child can't function or handle a normal part of everyday life like a haircut, you don't believe them or agree with them and you worry like you would not believe.  This little event of my almost six-year-old boy getting a haircut at the barbershop means so much more than it does for other kids his age.  So much more.

Before:

And that does not even show how long it was.  I tried to get a "before" pic with it in a ponytail on top of his head, but he wouldn't go for that.

After: