Haircut Horror

Last night, Ben got a hair cut.  Ben hates haircuts.  He has always hated haircuts, and when I say he hates them, I don't mean he protests, pouts, and whines.  I am talking about a screaming, shrieking, crying, kicking, writhing away from the scissors, hands over his ears hatred of haircuts, along with a big dose of "Oh my God you are going to cut my ears off" panic.  And it isn't getting any better.

Last year, after a particularly difficult haircut, I decided we were done.  It was just hair, I reasoned, and not worth sending him into such a panic and causing such a trauma to him, so I let it grow for about six months, declaring that he would just have long hair and that was okay.  The problem with that is that Ben has thick, fine hair with no curl at all, so it just kind of hung over his ears and eyes and bothered him.  Then the weather turned warm, and his head would get sweaty and make him miserable, so we got a haircut and it was a horrifying experience for everyone involved, as usual. Since then, he has been getting his hair cut sporadically whenever it gets long enough to start bothering him.

Thank goodness for my friend Kim, who has the patience of Job and the steadiest hand I've ever seen, because she comes to the house, deals with all the screaming, and cuts his hair amidst a chaos of kicking, wriggling, and shrieking.  If she ever stops agreeing to cut it, he really will have to grow his hair down to his knees, because I doubt anyone else could do it. 

The biggest problem is that he just isn't outgrowing the behavior, and we are out of tricks.  I have tried talking with him, watching me get a haircut first upsets him even more than when he just has one on his own, and reading the charming book I found (Bippity Bop Barber Shop by Natasha Anastasia Tarpley) about a boy getting his first grown-up haircut also has the same results.  Bribery doesn't work either (why, yes, I have sunk to that level), and neither do the head massages his OT recommended.

This is apparently pretty common in kids like Ben, though I can't find any other information to help with it.  Everything I've read points out it is a sensory issue, but what do parents of kids on the spectrum do about it?  For now, the only answer I have is to continue with what we are doing, but it does worry me that having his hair cut is such a frightening experience for him.  It's really just a symptom of the bigger problem: Ben's sensory perceptions are disordered, so simple things and ordinary, routine experiences can overload and overwhelm him. 

Today, however, he has a haircut, and we have a few more months before we have to worry about it again.