Facing Fears

Ben is afraid of all new things.  New people, new places, new situations, new routines, new food, and even new toys sometimes.  He warms up to most new things, some faster than others, at his own Ben pace, but it makes me nervous to introduce new experiences because I just never know how he will react.

Last year, we went to the circus for the first time, and even though I was worried he would freak out and we would have to leave immediately, it was a huge success.  He did not mind the crowd or the noise, did not streak off out of sight, and enjoyed it thoroughly, so we went again this year.

This year, Ben just happens to be a big fan of elephants.  Elephant toys, elephant pictures, the elephant named Kayla in Curious George 2, and even the song "Baby Elephant Walk" by Henry Mancini.  He was excited to see the elephants at the circus today, but I didn't even consider the possibly of an elephant ride for him.  It would be a new experience, involving new people he did not know at all, scary stairs, and of course, a great big elephant.  I assumed just the thought of it would freak him out, but to my surprise, upon seeing a child climb atop the elephant, he pointed and exclaimed, "I want to do that!"

I knelt down, got him to look at me, and carefully explained what would be involved in doing that: waiting patiently in a line full of strangers, climbing the rickety stairs, letting a perfect stranger put him on the elephant, riding the elephant with a few other perfect strangers, and then letting the man take him back off of the elephant.  He listened until I stopped talking and then immediately said, as patiently as possible, "I WANT to ride the elephant!"  As in, what is your problem, woman?  I already told you I want to.

I took a deep breath, we stood in line more or less patiently, I handed over eight whole dollars to the surly ticket seller, and up the rickety stairs we went.

My mind raced with all of the horrible things that could go wrong: screaming, shoes being kicked across the room, hitting of himself and others, and OMG, what if he managed to hurl himself off the stairs, or worse, the elephant?

But he was perfect.

Perfect.

He nicely handed the man his ticket, calmly allowed that man to place him on the elephant, squished in with the other kids, watched as the man hooked the rope around them, and off they went for their brief elephant ride.  He beamed the whole time and did not get upset, scream, cover his ears, or kick his shoes off one single time.  It could not have gone more smoothly.

I don't know if Ben was really facing his fears or if he just wanted to ride the elephant so badly he forgot about them, but I had to face a few. 

I have learned I need to give him more credit, and I am reminded of just how amazing my little boy really is.