Aspies

The first time I heard the term "Aspie", it was in a news clip where a mother affectionately referred to her son as an "Aspie".  That first time, I didn't think much of it.  My son hadn't been diagnosed yet, and I was too engrossed in my thoughts about how Ben might be on the spectrum but probably didn't have Asperger's because he had nothing in common with her child.  I was wrong, of course, since every child with it acts differently and has different quirks, and while the term was in my mind it didn't make much of an impression on me.

Now, however, it upsets me, possibly to an unreasonable degree.  I am sure every parent of a child with special needs has different thoughts or feelings about this topic, just as there are as many opinions about any aspect of parenting as there are parents, but I really dislike that label.  Maybe it isn't meant to be a label, but I feel like it is--like it limits the child's identity and potential, and I am very sensitive about that.  I am sure the parents and other people who refer to kids as Aspies aren't trying to label or limit them, and probably don't feel like the kids are going to feel labeled and limited, but a positive sense of identity is crucial to children and that is one of my main worries for Ben.

When I was in college studying to become an educator, My Children With Special Needs professor (whose name escapes me but whose face is crystal clear in my memory) stressed the importance of saying that a child had a learning disability, rather than saying that the child was learning disabled.  It's the same thing really.  My son has Asperger's, but he is certainly not Asperger's.  And while it may create challenges and cause his quirks, I do truly believe he has as much potential as any other child.  And just like any other child, he deserves to be nurtured and supported, not limited and labeled.

And his identity should be true to who he really is: a sweet, mischievous, loving little boy who loves Curious George, Handy Manny, animals, books, music, musical instruments, and playing a toy bassoon while wearing his fireman's hat. It's not who he is.  It's part of who he is, certainly, but not any where near the most important part.   He can be anyone he wants to be when he grows up, just like any other child.  His journey will just be a little different than most.