Ben hugged a classmate today! I picked him up from his daycare this afternoon, and he ran to me with hugs and kisses and then said, "I want to tell Kaden good-bye." This in itself is huge, but I was confused. He has a cousin named Kaden and used to have a school (PPCD) classmate named Kaden, but I was not aware of a daycare Kaden. Sometimes he gets stuck on the names of people, like former classmates and teachers, so I asked him if Kaden was in the room. He ran to a little boy and said "Bye bye Kaden!" and waved. Kaden turned around, smiled great big at Ben, and said, "Bye bye Ben! I need a hug!"
And I froze. Hugs are different from bye-byes and he is wary of people he doesn't know well touching him, and is even sometimes wary of family members hugging him. He began to back up to Kaden like he does to more familar people, sometimes: a backwards hug, where you hug him but he doesn't have to get too close. The other boy looked confused, so I gently turned Ben around, and they hugged! And he smiled at Kaden and told him good-bye again! And then Miss Brittney said they played together today!
OMG, imagine my excitement! I wanted to jump up and cheer!
Ben has struggled with other kids since he was about 18-months-old and for the longest time would not even play near the other kids at daycare. We blamed it on shyness. His 2nd birthday party was a nightmare because of the crowd, which I blamed on his not having had a nap, but the fits and isolation at family gatherings continued for about a year. He began to parallel play at 3 and has gotten progressively better with big groups of family and in classrooms, but he still kind of does his own thing most of the time.
So this is huge. I know it is not a big deal at all for most 4 & 1/2-year-olds, but it is HUGE for Ben. It gives me hope. I know his journey will be full of social challenges, but this is definitely a good sign and has made me almost inappropriately excited. The little steps are enormous with kids like Ben. Enormous.
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